Not Everything Translates

Category: Okategoriserade

  • Trying is enough

    It is the third day after Christmas.
    I thought it would ease. It didn’t.

    For three days I have been caught in a carcinoid storm. My body is in absolute, wild panic and at the same time completely exhausted. My heart is racing. A pressure in my head creates the sensation of being a ticking bomb, about to detonate at any moment. The flushing comes in waves, affecting my blood pressure, and at times it feels as if my face is about to catch fire.

    My entire system is in revolt. And yet I know — I know — that this is physical. A backlash after Christmas stress, too much food and drink.

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  • NET is like china

    As I was waking up this morning, it struck me that NET is like China.

    I’ve been to China once. It wasn’t a long stay. A work trip of about a week, with factory visits in southern China and a few days of sightseeing in Shanghai on my way home. But really, I can’t say that I’ve been there. I’ve been to a few micro-fragments of China.

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  • The day I got my diagnosis

    I lie on the bed with my husband.
    We wait.

    We hold each other in silence.
    Sometimes one of us breaks into tears—quick, sharp sobs—then quiet again.

    Time stretches.
    And still, nothing prepares me for what I am about to do.

    The front door opens.
    “Hello? Mom?”

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